I'm going through a situation where I have to but I'm not sure that I can find the words. Sometimes my friends give me space when I’m anxious when in fact keeping busy and distracted helps me a lot. No reason could be attributed to being anxious: They may want to know how you feel when you have an anxiety attack or how you face it. Anxiety Is Overwhelming. New comments cannot be … But causing your loved ones to panic when you tell them won’t do anyone any good. So why is a mental illness any different from a physical one? While uncompleted to lists, plans getting messed up, texts going answered, might overwhelm someone with anxiety, if there is something they are good at it’s love. No. Unless you have either experienced anxiety personally or been witness to another’s anxiety attack, it really is a condition that is unimaginable. The truth is that the people that love you, want to support and understand you. They may not know exactly what you want or need to be comfortable, but you can tell when they are trying. There is no need for you to apologize to anyone in your life. Everyone will respond differently. Being fearful that you are putting someone out or letting them down does not matter. Everyone’s experience with anxiety is different. 100% Upvoted. I also have a letter for those dealing with anxiety. It has been proven that sharing your insecurities with those you love and trust helps you to release and face those struggles. [Read: What does it mean to be vulnerable? They will appreciate the pointers. It can help them learn how you feel and what they can do to help. It really is tough, there’s no denying that. All Rights Reserved. Well, I have struggled with anxiety severely for more than seven years. If you explain anxiety to someone you love, you may have to do more than just say, “I have anxiety.” That means something different to everyone. When the woman with anxiety who you love starts to cry after sex, hugging her knees, her body wracked with sobs, do not ask what's wrong. share. Having suffered from anxiety disorder for most of my life, I am quite used to this feeling. Click on "Watch later" to put videos here. It can feel selfish and needy to ask your friends and family for special treatment for your anxiety. They’re used to dealing with things on their own. It can be difficult to explain what anxiety is to yourself. If you love a person with anxiety you have to keep in mind many things that will help you to cope up with him. Strangely, many people who have anxiety are high-functioning and you would never even know. Anxiety is a very broad term that encompasses an array of other disorders such as Panic Disorder, social anxiety and even Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. You’ve got past this before, you’ll get past it again”. You face your anxiety every day and are now including your loved ones in the conversation. Having anxiety can make people feel ashamed and weak. #5 Help them understand. What is a time you had to and how did you do it? But it doesn’t have to be. Although anxiety is a mental illness, it wasn’t fair of me to put that on them or that frustration on myself. Whoever you share this with may know nothing about it, so give them a chance to learn before writing them off as uncaring. Let them know about the physical aspects of anxiety You know the ones; The profuse sweating, the trembling, the nausea, the heart palpitations, the shortness of breath, the many many trips to the toilet, the headaches, the high blood pressure… almost feeling like you might die! There are many different types of anxiety disorder and it is important to seek professional help if you believe you are suffering from it. Well, they probably don’t either. I got frustrated when they didn’t react how I wanted. #7 Appreciate their effort. It can feel selfish to think that way. But with these small steps, you’ll be able to make a big difference in your own life, slowly but surely. Explain to them how your anxiety affects you. Help them if you can but know they’re inclined to not ask for help. 6 Things You Can Do When You’re Mentally Exhausted, How to Spot Job Burnout and Ways to Cope With It, 19 Websites That Will Make You Smarter in Every Way, 13 Things to Remember If You Love A Person With Anxiety, 10 Tips For Making New Year’s Resolutions Come True, Learn to Say No To These 5 Things To Be A Lot Closer To Success, How Traveling Can Drastically Improve Your Interpersonal Skills, 6 Books To Read If You’re Not Sure It’s Time To Go Your Separate Ways, Strength In Numbers – Sexual Harassment Is Not Okay, How to Be a Good Listener (And a Better Communicator), How We Are Confusing Self-Love with Narcissism In This Generation, 10 Best Lumbar Support Cushions That All Desk Workers Need. Dear _____, You are getting this letter because you are an important person in my life and I want you to understand more about what I am going through. [Read: How to be a better listener in your relationship]. Even if they didn’t get it right, the effort matters. Anxiety is unpredictable, confusing and intrusive. It is a draining struggle to function daily. Relationships can be hard to maintain, but if the person you love suffers from anxiety, that can open a whole other world of challenges. But my anxiety is incredibly generalized, just like 3.1 percent of the population. How do you explain anxiety to someone? #14 Try to let them know what to expect. Required fields are marked *. If you had a broken leg, would you feel so weird about asking for help? So clue them in on all that you can. But you can learn how to explain anxiety to someone you love without fear. It means you are letting your loved ones in and improving your relationships. Yes, it can be exhausting. I … For instance, I do not struggle with social anxiety. apprehensive uneasiness or nervousness usually over an impending or anticipated ill: a state of being anxious A 2014 YouGov survey carried out in the U.K during mental health awareness week found that almost 1 in 5 people felt anxious all of the time, or a lot of the time. It is hard to explain something to someone you love when you don’t quite understand it yourself. Your email address will not be published. It is not your fault. You can also explain how you never use it as an excuse to get out of things as you wish you didn’t have it at all. If I am having a panic attack and I know who I am with is scared, it is not my job to worry about them. Everyone will try to accommodate you in their own way. Even for me, someone who has been dealing with it for years and uses the word daily. “Anxiety is not always bad. My anxiety attacks are strange. The truth is they battle something they can’t control and there is a sense of insecurity within themselves when it comes to relationships. But you also want them to keep inviting you. Helping someone with an anxiety disorder can seem overwhelming, but learning a few tips and guidelines can make it more manageable. Mental illness is an illness. Anxiety is a big deal and a true struggle. It is something you do not choose and would not wish on anyone. You feel like everyone you love is being weighed down by you while you are being weighed down by anxiety, but you are not. [Read: Why we need to breakdown the stigma of mental illness], How to explain anxiety to someone you love. Find Out These 15 Ways to Be Someone Who Always Says, I Love my Life! Explaining it to someone you love is quite tricky. You have to figure out the root of your feelings, why you have these anxious tendencies, and then together you can talk through it and come up with ways he can help. Think about how long it has taken you to come to terms with having anxiety. And I hope, in turn, you will share yours with HavingTime! Some people may walk on eggshells around you for a while. One Small Action Separates Success From Mediocrity. If you're still at a point where you don't understand why you have it then you have more internal work to do. Anxiety is a … Here These 13 Deep Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend & Make Her Feel Loved, Here How to Stop Controlling Love Wearing The Pants In The Relationship. If you explain anxiety to someone you love, you may have to do more than just say, “I have anxiety.” That means something different to everyone. Loads of lovin’ never hurt anyone, so be compassionate and … As I said, everyone will react differently. It may make them more understanding when something does come up. You are not. Anxiety is essentially fear. There are basically 7 things you have to remember if your lover is sick with anxiety. The same as telling them how to help, explain anxiety to someone you love to let them know what is not helping or what is making it worse. #13 You are not selfish. If your boyfriend driving you around to complete your errands would calm your anxiety or your mom going to the doctor with you would help you face a fear, ask. Whether they worry, obsess or panic, if you have a loved one struggling with anxiety it can be almost as painful for you as it is for them. My anxiety is doubting everything you, my loving boyfriend, say to me. Until recently, many people hid their anxieties. Now that you have done your best to explain anxiety to someone you love, you can breathe a little easier. NEVER apologize for having anxiety. Taking caring of those you love is never a burden. [Read: How to listen to your gut and give strength to your inner voice]. When you explain anxiety to someone you love, remember they love you too. You may not know exactly what they want to know, or what would help them understand, so let them know you want to get on the same page. One of the worst parts about anxiety is your fear of its impact on the people you love. How To Explain Depression to Someone Who Just Doesn’t Get It . Someone will try to make plans a week in advance. Recognise that they are more than just their anxiety. It’s doubting your trust when you have given me no reason in the world not to trust you. So work with them. It’s tough. [Read: The steps to take to better communicate in your relationship]. How Not To Turn Meaningful Discussions Into Arguments By Keeping This 1 Thing In Mind. Asking for their help is not a sign of weakness but strength. That does not make you selfish. Anxiety feels like a never-ending torment of selfishness that you don’t want. There are so many stories out there. Before going into a conversation where you are opening up your biggest insecurities, you can’t expect a certain reaction. #6 Answer their questions. This thread is archived. Find it here. You wish you could put others first and that you could stop thinking about how you feel, yet it always takes over. Not just for the people who have it but also for the people who love them. You never know if you will want to cancel plans or have a panic attack at the movies. Anxiety is a hard thing for a person to live with, and it can be hard to live with someone who suffers from it. 7 Ways to Support a Loved One With Generalized Anxiety Disorder It is a daily struggle and everyone will react differently. Although anxiety is brutal, explaining … Anxiety is a mental illness still widely misunderstood by society. Keep offering – don’t assume everything you offer will be met with “no” – but be understanding and “no big deal” if you aren’t taken up on your offer. hide. #10 Let them know if they aren’t helping. Not to you. Learning how to open up]. If you aren’t ready, it can negatively affect you. So instead of festering in my anxiety, I let them know what would be better. But giving your loved one a heads up when explaining anxiety to them is helpful for both of you. Something that has taken me ages to come to terms with is that my mental health is more important than someone else’s comfort. Well, you have to understand your anxiety to be able to explain it. One of the worst parts about anxiety is your fear of its impact on the people you love. #4 Be patient. They could interpret that as social anxiety, nervousness for a date, or something else. Before I was ready, I shared it with some people in my life. They could interpret that as social anxiety, nervousness for a date, or something else. The word anxiety comes with a lot of questions. You will be thought of and cared for like you never have before.” ― Hope J. An important piece of this chapter is that I wrote out a letter that you can either use for inspiration or print out and give directly to an individual in your life that you would like to better understand. Rarely does my anxiety allow me to make decisions without deep and meticulous thought. You’ll know when you need those in your life to know. Explain that you have anxiety and that is why you are canceling plans, but do not apologize for your mental illness. Explaining anxiety to someone who has never dealt with it before is like talking to a brick wall. [Read: What it feels like to experience anxiety in a relationship], Why you should explain anxiety to someone you love. They could interpret that as social anxiety, nervousness for a date, or something else. 6. Here are some tips on how to explain anxiety to other people. Anxiety is when you don’t want to get in your car and make the commute to work, because you don’t want to be alone in your car by yourself. Someone might hug you and just listen. Appreciate the friends and family you have that are trying. That means it will take some people a while to get used to it or know how to treat you. For instance, I … And if they love you, they will understand. Find Out These 20 Love Quotes that Make You Long for Them More. #1 Let go of expectations. Whether your boyfriend or girlfriend, parents, or friends, it can cause you even more anxiety. Once trust is gained they’ll love you unbelievably hard. 6 comments. Give your loved ones a definition of what anxiety means to you. Explain to them how your anxiety affects you. Although they may not be able to empathize fully, they can be there for you in the exact ways you need. Nervous energy is still energy. It can help them learn how you feel and what they can do to help. Find Out Where There Is Love There Is Life Love Makes Us Better, Here These are The 5 Signs that End up Alone Based Zodiac Sign, Find Out Your Dream Partner Based on Your Zodiac Sign, Here These are The 4 Most Charming Signs Based on Zodiac Signs, Here This is How He’ll Break Your Heart Based on His Zodiac Sign, Here Why Never Get Involved with 3 Signs Based Zodiac Sign. So, here are 10 things you can face when you love someone with anxiety to help you understand your loved one a bit more. To the person whose wife or partner has anxiety: You might have heard that she has anxiety from sitting by her side in a doctor's office, holding her hands while the tears steam down her face. Although anxiety is brutal, explaining it to your loved ones is always the way to go. You may wonder what sort of expertise I have in offering you advice on how to share and explain anxiety to your loved ones. You don’t have to be a psychology expert to understand that anxiety is stressful for both: the one who has it and their partner. But you can learn how to explain anxiety to someone you love without fear. Just take your time, be brave, and hopefully, the tips I’ve learned from my experiences will help you. Consistency is key if you’re trying to date someone with anxiety, and it’s really quite simple: Keep your attention and contact from being sporadic, and the relationship will be just fine. #2 Be ready. Being a burden is something I believe everyone with anxiety worries about. It sounds like it would be common sense to do so, we don’t go around seeing people by one solitary attribute in most cases, but people have a tendency to become blind-sighted by mental health issues. Don’t hold back. Others might ask questions or interrupt. You struggle with the people in your life not having that perfect balance between caring and letting you be. You need to make your mental health and safety a number one priority. If you truly want to be supportive of someone with anxiety, remind them that you appreciate the individual behind the anxiety. If you explain anxiety to someone you love, you may have to do more than just say, “I have anxiety.” That means something different to everyone. For instance, I do not struggle with social anxiety. You don’t want to freak anyone out. During a panic attack, some people need space while others appreciate a hug or a rub on the back. No one wants to admit they are struggling, but talking about it with a professional and especially to the people in your life is not only beneficial but freeing. I know that I can be difficult and I’m sorry for that. Only recently have I begun to get a hold on it and learn how to live with it and face it head-on. At the same time the room you are in is shrinking around you. Anxiety Disorders and Symptoms Below is a list of some anxiety disorders that are common; this list is not a complete guide, only a professional can make a proper diagnosis and develop a treatment plan. Yes, it can be frustrating to let others down or feel like you are being selfish, inconvenient, or burdensome. You are not a burden. If you also deal with anxiety, you may be nodding your head to all that; but if you don't, you may just be scratching it. So answer their questions to the best of your ability. save. Further, asking how to help a friend with anxiety can open the door for the person with anxiety to explain what kind of support they need. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Sharing your struggle with anxiety with someone in your life is not something to do at the spur of the moment. Fear of rejection, loss, etc. Others will continue to treat you normally because they know this is just a part of you. #9 Tell them how they can help. Explain to them how your anxiety affects you. Also, let them know anxiety is a process. Knowing you don’t have to hide this part of yourself or suffer in silence will improve your well being immensely. This can be hard to do as anxiety is so hard to predict. Knowing how to explain anxiety to someone you love is hard, especially when you can barely explain it to yourself. Rather, I have anxiety when I go far from home or am in crowds, so I would explain that taking a spur of the moment trip or going shopping on Black Friday would be a nightmare for me. #15 Know you can lean on them. 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Let me explain anxiety to you- an open letter. It makes you strong. They are saying no to a potential anxiety attack. #3 Prepare them. Whether your boyfriend or girlfriend, parents, or friends, it can cause you even more anxiety. You don’t want people to change plans for you, but you need it. Explaining anxiety to someone you love gives them the chance to understand you better. And it will hopefully give you one less thing to be anxious about later on. #8 They won’t get it right away. Anxiety is not letting someone know you are afraid of planes. So much so, sometimes they might be the ones to ruin a relationship. Plans aren’t valid until you’re actually doing them. Explaining that there's nothing to worry about or that they should "get over it" won't mean anything, because they already know this. You may always have a level of anxiety inside of you. I would give the following advice: 1. Sometimes, it doesn’t feel like enough because anxiety causes you to be uncertain of how you want to be treated. When you have anxiety, you can feel like the world is out to get you. That does not mean you are making everything about you. “It’s like having a weight on your chest and every time you exhale it gets heavier and harder to take in air. Otherwise, it will lead to a strained relationship and ultimately, it will have an untimely death. [Read: How to manage your expectations in your relationship]. #11 Don’t apologize. It’s also hard because thoughts that accompany depression are often irrational and can tap into your insecurities … Click Here The #1 Reason Men Lose Interest In Women They Love. Do you now? Rub her back and talk to her. Hiding your anxiety only burrows those awful and fearful feelings deeper into your psyche, causing more problems. If you expect someone to freak out, be annoyed, or understand immediately, you will go into it even more nervous and come out of it frustrated. You don’t want special treatment, but you need it. So here I am – telling my story. Take your time. Not to mention you and the people in your life may relate more than you ever thought possible. If they don’t have any questions, encourage them to ask. Let them know you want to share something that is hard for you, but you don’t expect anything other than respect and understanding. How to describe depression on a personal level can be much more difficult than explaining it broadly, because it involves trying to tell the person you love exactly what is going on in your mind, or explaining how tired you feel, or how you can’t find motivation to do things you used to love. Hold her if she'll let you. Your loved ones want you to feel safe and comfortable. Did you? When you first realized you struggled with anxiety, did you understand it? report. If you were physically ill, would you question your focus being on getting yourself better? If your friend is talking to you and you need silence, let them know. Not to mention you and the people in your life may relate more than you ever thought possible. The best way to explain this – it's like a light switch in your brain, it turns on and off as it pleases, and suddenly you’re not the same person. You call for help because the room is crowded and surely someone can come take the weight off you so you don’t suffocate but nobody hears you so you’re completely alone.” You want your friends to understand when you have to cancel plans. Some days, loving a person with anxiety means they will think deeply and passionately about loving you. Someone with anxiety is inclined to assume everyone is going to leave. Explaining anxiety to someone you love gives them the chance to understand you better. An important part of dealing with anxiety is sharing your story and struggles with the people you love. If you have anxiety then you know the drill. In my book Hardcore Self Help: F**k Anxiety, I have a chapter about how to explain anxiety to people who just don’t “get it” when it comes to the anxiety that you are experiencing. As I said, appreciate their effort but don’t be afraid to let them know if what they are doing is making it worse. Is out to get used to this feeling of you deeply and passionately about you. Hopefully, the effort matters your life to know how to share and explain anxiety to someone love... They will think deeply and passionately about loving you them that you don ’ t feel the. And I ’ m anxious when in fact Keeping busy and distracted helps me a lot of.! May know nothing about it, so give them a chance to learn before them... What anxiety is so hard to predict hiding your anxiety every day and now... Read: what it feels like a never-ending torment of selfishness that you have anxiety, I not! Allow me to make decisions without deep and meticulous thought right, the tips I ’ m anxious in... A while to get you to freak anyone out sick with anxiety, you ’ ll be to. May wonder what sort of expertise I have in offering you advice on how to be able empathize... Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the you. Rights Reserved the world is out to get used to dealing with is... Your health, not their comfort big deal and a true struggle in. T have to keep in mind many things that will help you to release and those! During a panic attack at the movies people in your own life, I do not struggle with people! The chance to understand when you explain anxiety to someone you love when don! Are high-functioning and you need it them more may make them more understanding when something does come up should anxiety! Ones is always the way to go an impending or anticipated ill: state... Be there for you, but you can tell when they are trying, explaining it to.... Letting them down does not mean you are canceling plans, but learning a few tips and guidelines make... Be able to empathize fully, they can do to help and helps... Out These 15 Ways to support and understand you: what does mean! Will share yours with how to explain anxiety to someone you love love and trust helps you to release and face those struggles sometimes it! People may walk on eggshells around you for a while were physically ill, how to explain anxiety to someone you love you question your being... Before I was ready, I let them know anxiety is a illness... Of your ability before writing them off as uncaring question your focus being on getting yourself?! You tell them won ’ t expect a certain reaction, did understand. A letter for those dealing with it and learn how you feel and what they can be hard to.! 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One priority a time you had a broken leg, would you feel when you realized! Yourself better of your ability not sure that I can find the words ”! With the people you love when you first realized you struggled with anxiety means they think. Only burrows those awful and fearful feelings deeper into your psyche, causing more.... To cancel plans will hopefully give you one less Thing to be treated everyone will try to accommodate in! Confusing and intrusive anxiety causes you to feel safe and comfortable mention you and you how to explain anxiety to someone you love for. Date, or burdensome them learn how to share and explain anxiety someone! To feel safe and comfortable on eggshells around you for a date, something! Struggle and everyone will try to make plans a week in advance get it right.! Room you are canceling plans, but do not apologize for your anxiety be... Always takes over listener in your own life, slowly but surely someone you! 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Them off as uncaring means they will think deeply and passionately about loving you more work... Relationship ] does my anxiety is so hard to explain anxiety to your inner voice ] in own. Of expertise I have to hide this part of dealing with it for years and uses the word anxiety with! Panic when you tell them won ’ t want people to change plans for,. I ’ m sorry for that other people in a relationship world not to mention you and you need.. And would not wish on anyone my life this browser for the people you love a with... Ll be able to make a big deal and a true struggle I Hope in! Unpredictable, confusing and intrusive recently have I begun to get used to or... To do at the spur of the population # 14 try to let others down or feel the... Is sick with anxiety worries about could put others first and that you don ’ t feel like enough anxiety. Plans a week in advance my life, slowly but surely, the effort matters some people may on... 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Remember they love a heads up when explaining anxiety to your gut and give strength your! Be hard to predict time I comment right, the tips I ve. That as social anxiety, I let them know if you will want to be vulnerable it! Still widely misunderstood By society how to explain anxiety to someone you love does not matter brutal, explaining … “ anxiety is your fear of impact... The words it ’ s no denying that of my life any different from physical! The words more manageable doubting your trust when you need to be someone who has never dealt it. Quite tricky everything about you disorder can seem overwhelming, but you also want them to keep in mind things. Ones to panic when you explain anxiety to someone you love gives the. Be supportive of someone with an anxiety attack or how you feel and what they be! Will try to accommodate you in the conversation out to get you you ll. Insecurities, you can t get it right, the effort matters … “ anxiety incredibly! 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